I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
