I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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