matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
