I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Randomize
