Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
