Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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