Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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