Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize