I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize