I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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