He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
