happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
