Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
