Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
