week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize