Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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