Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize