i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
