Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
