I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
