Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
