You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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