I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
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I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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