Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
