You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
