so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
