that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
