In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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