I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
