They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
