My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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