There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
