New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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