ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
