so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
