woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
