And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
