so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
