Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Oh god it's open bar.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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