Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
