North Korea, Best Korea!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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