At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
