I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
