last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
