i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i need to put some appletini on your dick
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sorry about my life...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
