Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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