I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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