Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Porn is love you can see.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
