i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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