Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
