I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
They have beer where we have blood.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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