did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
