Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
