i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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