Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
