I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
