friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
