Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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