trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
