Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
