Can Purell be used as lube?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
